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This entry is one that has been on my mind for quite awhile, but I usually try to keep things light, fun and family-friendly on my blog. The truth is that these last few months have been really trying. I don't know if I have ever felt such intense feelings of loneliness, inadequacy and discouragement. When those who are close to me question why, I can't explain it. We are building a beautiful home, have beautiful children, are earning a "real" income after years of schooling, have our health, live close to a temple, are part of a wonderful ward (congregation), and have been taken in by a great family while our home is being completed. I recognize these things, and appreciate these things, I have just been in a slump. I believe that Satan works on us when we are weak with thoughts like, "You aren't good enough", "Life stinks" "What are you worth anyways?" It has felt like a constant battle to be a good parent and wife when I have felt lost in this world of "Oh poor me." Today in my Sunday School Class, I was teaching the teenagers about Spencer W. Kimball and the refining moments in his life. I do believe that we are given these periods in our life to prove that we can be better, that we can rise above the blues to be grateful for the beautiful gifts that we have been given. I have had confirmation after confirmation that Heavenly Father is aware of me, that he loves me, but that it is my job to CHOOSE to be happy, to be a good friend/wife/mother/daughter/etc. Last night I was able to slip away for a bit of "Filling my spiritual cup" time. I attended our General Relief Society Conference. Among other speakers from the General Relief Society Presidency, Elder Uchdorf, one of the counselors to our Prophet, spoke. He used the analogy of Willy Wonka and talked about how in life we are often too busy looking for our Golden Tickets to take delight in simple beauties of life like the chocolate bar itself. If you have not yet viewed the talk, it is archived on the LDS.org website. It was wonderful and I believe it was written for me. I left there saying, "I am now living in this new city and can CHOOSE to be happy here, to find beauty in being the person that I am, with the responsibilities that I have been given. I am committed to humbling myself to seek inspiration and guidance in my pursuit of happiness in this phase of life." I have so much to be grateful for. I don't know why life gets us down sometimes, but when it does, it is difficult to rise above it. I am eager to feel like myself again, and to not only be where I was, but to become who I really want to be. Thanks again for checking in on us. I miss my friends and family dearly and feel that these connections and updates are priceless.