Friday, December 28, 2012

Tender Moments in Life

There are times in our lives when the presence of our Savior is very near. I have experienced His presence this week as we have dealt with heartache. On Thursday, I taught preschool and all seemed well. Within an hour of returning home, I began to experience the signs of miscarriage. I was 8 weeks along and had been eager for our first ultrasound to tell the kids for Christmas. I was totally unprepared and in shock. The emotional sadness was coupled with the physical pain. My children didn't know what was going on, which added to the impact. So, Thursday night, I canceled our dinner plans with our friend Chelsea, who was preparing to leave for a vacation in Alaska, followed by a semester internship in Idaho Falls. She responded back with her concern for our situation and inquired if there was anything she could do to ease the situation. We were hoping to see her that night before she left. Friday morning she texted Dan a goodbye and Merry Christmas before leaving for Boise to catch a flight to Alaska. On her way up to Boise she lost control of her Chevy and crossed over the median to hit another car. The other driver was killed instantly, his three passengers were severely injured and Chelsea was life flighted up to Boise, where she was pronounced dead. We did not receive the news until Saturday. I cannot remember a time where I have felt my emotions so raw, nor have I experienced heartache like this with Dan. Her funeral was yesterday, and because of the conditions of the roads, we decided to stay back, Today, there was a memorial at Dan's work. (As Chelsea was a co-worker of Dan's) As I was pondering our friendship, I felt Christ's presence. I know that our Savior lives and that this life is not the end. I know that our spirits go on to live in a state of rest and peace until they will someday be reunited with our bodies at the Resurrection.

I am not sure why Chelsea was placed in our lives. Dan came home from work one day suggesting that Chelsea babysit for us while we attended the temple. That was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.  She was 22 and a radiology student and CNA. She was living here without family. She would babysit or come over for dinners and Family Home Evenings. She took care of the kids the night Dan threw out his back and Trick or Treated with the kids. Though Dan has known her longer than I, I know that she was placed in our lives for a reason. Through this experience, we have been able to ponder on the beauty of life, on the Great Plan of Life. Today Elijah told me he was going to build a Rocket Ship to go visit Chelsea in heaven. Noelle was asking about where our bodies go when our spirits go to heaven and Corom said he could not wait to see her in heaven again. In their small way, our children are gaining a testimony of the Plan of Salvation. I am grateful for the Christlike example of friendship that Chelsea has shown us and thankful also for the trial of my miscarriage. I do not understand the why's behind these heartaches, but I trust that there is a plan for me. I am thankful for my body, a healthy body and for a beautiful family and the time we have together on earth.

6 comments:

Nicole Hernandez said...

Our timing is not the Lord's timing, that's for sure. But what a beautiful gift we have of the resurrection. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend and also your miscarriage. That baby will make it's way to your family when the time is right. Love you guys!

Claudia said...

Tam..I hope you're feeling peace and knowing that we all love and support you through your trials. Heavenly Father knows you and loves you. Things will work out as they should. Know that your mom loves you! (HUGS!!!)

Margaret said...

Oh, Tami! I have been wondering how you have been doing. What a heartbreaking update. I'm so sorry. Your writing is so calm, though. I have always admired your deep spirituality. Even in one of the most difficult times of your life, you have a way to see the good. Thank you for writing something so difficult to put into words. You're in my prayers!

Gleason Family said...

Tam, you are so strong and such a good example to me. And always have been. Thanks for sharing your experiences. We'll be thinking of your family. Love you!

Josh and Gina said...

I've come to understand that the Lord will not put something in your path that you will not be able to get through...and learn from. What those lessons may be, we don't always understand at the time, but we do gain strength, knowledge, and spirituality from them. I was so saddened to hear of your news but like Nikki said, the baby will come to you guys when the time is right. We love you all so much and hope that happiness has found your home again.

Dynamic duo said...

Wow, Tami. I know it has been years since we've actually "talked" but I clearly remember how helpful you were when I was going thru my own pain. I'm so sorry to hear about your pain and I know you know this, but you are amazing! You are strong and are a fantastic example. Whatever the reasons you went through this as you did, I know it was because lives were touched for good. I am always amazed at your strength. You do a fantastic job with your children - they prove your strength in their lil' examples. Stay close to the Lord, Tami. He loves you and your family more than we can ever understand.